Colin maneuvers to sit behind Detlef with his own paper and pen. He takes a deep breath.
"All right. I need you to think of ten things about yourself that I don't know. Some of them must be lies and some must be true. For everything you say, write down whether it's true or false, and keep the list in order. And just write T or L--each has only two pen strokes. And no outrageous lies. Keep everything believable. Or, you can tell truths that sound like lies, but not lies that sound like lies. And don't give any hints."
He swallows, a spike of fear hitting for a moment before he remembers who this is. It's Colin. He's not being questioned by a Shepherd, and it's not like his parental units have suddenly shown up. Detlef takes a breath.
"My littlest sister's name is Leonie, and the other is Maja. My favorite color is pale blue." That's one truth and two lies so far, Leonie and Nele were his sisters, and he loves very dark blue... though it's a little possible Colin knows about the color.
"Um. I need new boots." Two truths, and he continues until he's at six truths and four lies.
Colin focuses more on what he's feeling from Detlef than on what Detlef is actually saying as he writes down what he thinks the answers are. When they are done, Colin releases a breath.
"All right. I've written down what I think the answers are. I couldn't see what you were writing. So..."
He turns around and sits by Detlef, setting their papers side by side. Every single answer matches Detlef's.
It breaks the tension again, and Colin laughs. He needed that laugh, too.
"I...I've always been good at telling when people lie. I've always been good at telling what people are feeling even when they're hiding it. Last night, with Farogil? The way he felt was so strong, and I wasn't even looking at him when it hit me. I...
"Maybe I've been using the Vice for years, without even knowing it."
"You can feel feelings." Colin doing that isn't a worry. The shepherds, though? He's quiet for a few moments before he realizes Colin may be able to feel his rising stress and he'd like that to not be misinterpreted. "Not everyone is born with the Vice, but the Shepherds say they are. Which means that either the Shepherds believe it and have it, or the Shepherds are lying, but if they have it and can feel what people are feeling..."
He exhales, trying to get his worry under control.
It's an unsettling thought, but Colin reaches out to squeeze Detlef's hand and give him a smile.
"If they could, they'd have caught me. My whole life is a lie. And if they had people who could do that, they'd put one in every team. Claim it's the blessing of the gods or something that makes it different from the Vice. We'd definitely have heard about it, since it would have made people more afraid of them and less likely to use the Vice. You...you can't feel my feelings, can you?"
And probably the Shepherds that had killed the man a few weeks back would have caught him, if they could do that. Detlef closes his eyes and gets his fear back under control as he shakes his head.
"No. I've just got... what I'd think anyone has, intuition and expression and voice. Hunches, but I couldn't do what you just did if you lied and told the truth to me."
"I didn't really know I could do it until last night. What we just did, I...wasn't sure if I could do it then. I needed to be sure."
He sighs heavily. "So. Not everyone who uses the Vice can do it. It's just another difference in our powers. And it makes sense. I hate crowds, you love them. We get different things off large groups of people."
"Mm, do I," he says, teasing and innuendo coming easily despite the revelation of that particular ability leaving him a little shaken. It's safe to be the flirt. And the jester.
"Company, crowds; people are fun." He could do without being read, but he's assuming that Colin's not doing it deliberately. "Are there times when you feel less clear on what someone's feeling? Around certain things or time of day?"
"I wondered that." Colin shifts so his legs are folded and his elbows rest on his knees. "If I'm tired, it's less clear. And it seems like it wasn't as strong in the early morning, till the moon came up. But something was...I went to get water, around noon? And it was stronger on the trip home than on the trip there."
He shifts as well so he can sit back-to-back with Colin again, mostly so he can use him as a backrest. It's comfy.
"So... water, or daylight, or both, make it stronger?" Detlef pushes himself to his feet, keeping his thoughts neutral as he goes over to the counter. Kittens. He's thinking about kittens and kittens only as he fills a cup from a pitcher of water and brings it back over, to hold it over Colin's head while grinning. "Want to test it?"
"Last night, it was really strong, while the moon was still--"
Oh. Now Detlef is threatening him with a pitcher of water. Colin has to suppress a smile, because despite his dour mood over this and his desire not to be soaked in his own home, Detlef is so damn charming about it.
The grin gets wider. "You know I dare. Don't you want to know more too? That's what this is about, learning, right? Seeing what we can do? Are you sure you don't want to try it out when I'm offering to help so generously over here?"
He sets down the pitcher and kneels next to Colin before wrapping his arms around his friend.
"Because you're Colin. Someone I've known for years. Is it nerve-wracking to know that someone can do that? Yes. I don't like people knowing what I'm thinking. But you're not people, you're Colin, and the worst you're going to do is foist burnt bread on me and make me feel guilty if I don't take it."
Colin's arms go around Detlef tightly, tears coming to his eyes. How is it that he is more afraid of this than his friend is? The places he could go with this, the intrusiveness, his own lack of control over it, it's all too much. But then something Detlef says provokes an automatic response.
"I'd never make you eat burnt bread," he says, and suddenly gives a breathy chuckle. It's such a lame thing to say, and more than that, it might prove Detlef's point.
"You'd better not, or I'd have to train the horses to drop you on your ass whenever you got on." He shifts backward a little, hands still resting on Colin's shoulders. "Breathe. And ten we should see what makes the ability stronger or weaker so we can be prepared against any malevolent sorts who have it."
Colin wipes tears away with the heel of his hand and obediently takes a deep breath, the knot of fear in his stomach much eased. He nods.
"You're right. But not by making a river in my bakery." He gives a nod in the general direction of the city gates. "Not when there's already one outside."
The smile is infectious, and makes its way onto Colin's face.
"I recognize your dibs," he says casually. "Your dibs will legally apply once we reach the river. Although--"
He stops, has to think for a minute about what to do about the walk back while wearing wet clothes, and he thinks about bringing dry to change into, then about simply undressing before getting in, and then he blushes deeply.
"You might...wait until I've undressed first. So we don't, um. Make people wonder what we were doing."
"Blushing before we've even had the chance to do something?" he teases, sitting back on his heels. A beat later he shrugs, glancing away.
"But maybe that's fair. For once there's someone I'd prefer not be speculating about me and someone else." Normally he doesn't care what people say about his flirting, that he does too much of it, or with too many people, or whatnot, but he'd like it if Farogil didn't start doubting that Detlef's actually interested.
"Your dinner companion is pretty cute," he offers with another shrug.
It's a relief to know he can still be surprised by someone else's feelings.
"You and Faro?" There's a swell of gladness for Detlef, but also a note of sexual disappointment and a sudden worry that they're both going to completely ditch him, move to another town, and forget about him like it sometimes feels Camilla has. He can nurse that later. "Congra--I mean, does he...? Feel the same?"
"He might?" It seems like more than might, but Detlef's nervous to be confident about anything personal. Now more than ever. His secret is out, but held, and he feels both grounded and restless. He wants to stay here for good and he wants to run again, but his choices are planting his roots more deeply. Now he has a friend in the Vice, now he knows a guard Captain who is trustworthy, now he's developing feelings for someone that are more than casual.
"I think he does," he tries again. "It's hard to, to be sure of anything when you're like... us." Profane. "But he seems kind, and sweet, and hopeful."
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"All right. I need you to think of ten things about yourself that I don't know. Some of them must be lies and some must be true. For everything you say, write down whether it's true or false, and keep the list in order. And just write T or L--each has only two pen strokes. And no outrageous lies. Keep everything believable. Or, you can tell truths that sound like lies, but not lies that sound like lies. And don't give any hints."
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"My littlest sister's name is Leonie, and the other is Maja. My favorite color is pale blue." That's one truth and two lies so far, Leonie and Nele were his sisters, and he loves very dark blue... though it's a little possible Colin knows about the color.
"Um. I need new boots." Two truths, and he continues until he's at six truths and four lies.
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"All right. I've written down what I think the answers are. I couldn't see what you were writing. So..."
He turns around and sits by Detlef, setting their papers side by side. Every single answer matches Detlef's.
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"So you're stalking me, then." That's not the reason, he's sure of it. All the same, he has to say something.
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"I...I've always been good at telling when people lie. I've always been good at telling what people are feeling even when they're hiding it. Last night, with Farogil? The way he felt was so strong, and I wasn't even looking at him when it hit me. I...
"Maybe I've been using the Vice for years, without even knowing it."
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"You can feel feelings." Colin doing that isn't a worry. The shepherds, though? He's quiet for a few moments before he realizes Colin may be able to feel his rising stress and he'd like that to not be misinterpreted. "Not everyone is born with the Vice, but the Shepherds say they are. Which means that either the Shepherds believe it and have it, or the Shepherds are lying, but if they have it and can feel what people are feeling..."
He exhales, trying to get his worry under control.
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"If they could, they'd have caught me. My whole life is a lie. And if they had people who could do that, they'd put one in every team. Claim it's the blessing of the gods or something that makes it different from the Vice. We'd definitely have heard about it, since it would have made people more afraid of them and less likely to use the Vice. You...you can't feel my feelings, can you?"
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"No. I've just got... what I'd think anyone has, intuition and expression and voice. Hunches, but I couldn't do what you just did if you lied and told the truth to me."
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He sighs heavily. "So. Not everyone who uses the Vice can do it. It's just another difference in our powers. And it makes sense. I hate crowds, you love them. We get different things off large groups of people."
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"Company, crowds; people are fun." He could do without being read, but he's assuming that Colin's not doing it deliberately. "Are there times when you feel less clear on what someone's feeling? Around certain things or time of day?"
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"So... water, or daylight, or both, make it stronger?" Detlef pushes himself to his feet, keeping his thoughts neutral as he goes over to the counter. Kittens. He's thinking about kittens and kittens only as he fills a cup from a pitcher of water and brings it back over, to hold it over Colin's head while grinning. "Want to test it?"
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Oh. Now Detlef is threatening him with a pitcher of water. Colin has to suppress a smile, because despite his dour mood over this and his desire not to be soaked in his own home, Detlef is so damn charming about it.
"Don't you dare."
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The grin gets wider. "You know I dare. Don't you want to know more too? That's what this is about, learning, right? Seeing what we can do? Are you sure you don't want to try it out when I'm offering to help so generously over here?"
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A huff of a laugh, then an utter emptiness of any mirth over this, and he buries his face in his hands.
"It's not funny. Why aren't you afraid of me?"
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"Because you're Colin. Someone I've known for years. Is it nerve-wracking to know that someone can do that? Yes. I don't like people knowing what I'm thinking. But you're not people, you're Colin, and the worst you're going to do is foist burnt bread on me and make me feel guilty if I don't take it."
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"I'd never make you eat burnt bread," he says, and suddenly gives a breathy chuckle. It's such a lame thing to say, and more than that, it might prove Detlef's point.
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"You'd better not, or I'd have to train the horses to drop you on your ass whenever you got on." He shifts backward a little, hands still resting on Colin's shoulders. "Breathe. And ten we should see what makes the ability stronger or weaker so we can be prepared against any malevolent sorts who have it."
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"You're right. But not by making a river in my bakery." He gives a nod in the general direction of the city gates. "Not when there's already one outside."
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"Dibs on shoving you in."
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"I recognize your dibs," he says casually. "Your dibs will legally apply once we reach the river. Although--"
He stops, has to think for a minute about what to do about the walk back while wearing wet clothes, and he thinks about bringing dry to change into, then about simply undressing before getting in, and then he blushes deeply.
"You might...wait until I've undressed first. So we don't, um. Make people wonder what we were doing."
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"But maybe that's fair. For once there's someone I'd prefer not be speculating about me and someone else." Normally he doesn't care what people say about his flirting, that he does too much of it, or with too many people, or whatnot, but he'd like it if Farogil didn't start doubting that Detlef's actually interested.
"Your dinner companion is pretty cute," he offers with another shrug.
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"You and Faro?" There's a swell of gladness for Detlef, but also a note of sexual disappointment and a sudden worry that they're both going to completely ditch him, move to another town, and forget about him like it sometimes feels Camilla has. He can nurse that later. "Congra--I mean, does he...? Feel the same?"
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"I think he does," he tries again. "It's hard to, to be sure of anything when you're like... us." Profane. "But he seems kind, and sweet, and hopeful."
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There's a pretty significant concern about this. Regarding Detlef, not Faro. Colin folds his arms tightly, almost a self-hug.
"But we are like us, and he is not. What...what do you think you'll do? Obviously you can't tell him. But if you're discovered?"
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